25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – E.E. Cummings

One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.

It’s something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear?

By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that’s what I’ve been doing over the years, and that’s what helped me finally overcome my fears, and finally pursue my dreams.

I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I know that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I’ve done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success.

This post was inspired by reader Nick from Finland, who asked for an article about self-worth and self-confidence:

Many of the things you propose make people feel better about themselves and actually help building self-confidence. However, I would be interested on reading your input in general on this topic. Taking time out for your own plans and dreams, doing things another way than most other people and generally not necessarily “fitting in” can be quite hard with a low self-confidence.

Truer words have never been spoken. It’s near impossible to make time for your dreams, to break free from the traditional mold, and to truly be yourself, if you have low self-esteem and self-confidence.

As an aside, I know that some people make a strong distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence. In this article, I use them interchangeably, even if there is a subtle but perhaps important difference … the difference being whether you believe you’re worthy of respect from others (self-esteem) and whether you believe in yourself (self-confidence). In the end, both amount to the same thing, and in the end, the actions I mention below give a boost to both self-esteem and self-confidence.

Taking control of your self-confidence
If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that will change that? Is your self-confidence in your control?

While it may not seem so, if you are low in self-confidence, I strongly believe that you can do things to increase your self-confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not have to be reliant on others to increase your self-confidence. And if you believe that you are not very competent, not very smart, not very attractive, etc. … that can be changed.

You can become someone worthy of respect, and someone who can pursue what he wants despite the naysaying of others.

You can do this by taking control of your life, and taking control of your self-confidence. By taking concrete actions that improve your competence, your self-image, you can increase that self-confidence, without the help of anyone else.

Below, I outline 25 things that will help you do that. None of them is revolutionary, none of them will do it all by themselves. The list certainly isn’t comprehensive. These are just some of my favorite things, stuff that’s worked for me.

And you don’t need to do all of them, as if this were a recipe … pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. If they work, try others. If they don’t, try others.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Groom yourself. This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.

2. Dress nicely. A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

3. Photoshop your self-image. Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.

4. Think positive. One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.

5. Kill negative thoughts. Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. (“C’mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!”)

Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu

6. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.

7. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.

8. Be kind and generous. Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me.

One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe

9. Get prepared. It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you’re prepared, and you’ll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself.

10. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major exception being to “Live my Passion”). Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don’t act on them.

11. Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don’t feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, don’t take it to an extreme, but just don’t sound rushed either.

12. Stand tall. I have horrible posture, so it will sound hypocritical for me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who stand tall and confident are more attractive. That’s a good thing any day, in my book.

13. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and the practice will increase your competence.

14. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

15. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a million bucks.

16. Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So what’s the solution?

17. Smile. Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.

18. Volunteer. Related to the “be kind and generous” item above, but more specific. It’s the holiday season right now … can you find the time to volunteer for a good cause, to spread some holiday cheer, to make the lives of others better? It’ll be some of the best time you’ve ever spent, and an amazing side benefit is that you’ll feel better about yourself, instantly.

19. Be grateful. I’m a firm believer in gratitude, as anyone who’s been reading this blog for very long knows well. But I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image. Read more.

20. Exercise. Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.
All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you’ll see benefits.Start the habit.

21. Empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared … by becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident … and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of course, but so are the people around you, people who have done what you want, books, magazines, and educational institutions.

22. Do something you’ve been procrastinating on. What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You’ll feel great about yourself.

23. Get active. Doing something is almost always better than not doing anything. Of course, doing something could lead to mistakes … but mistakes are a part of life. It’s how we learn. Without mistakes, we’d never get better. So don’t worry about those. Just do something. Get off your butt and get active — physically, or active by taking steps to accomplish something.

24. Work on small things. Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a self-confident maniac.

25. Clear your desk. This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control. It is the calm in the center of the storm around me. Here’s how.

Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable. – Walt Disney

63 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop second-guessing yourself, manage your fears and become able to do more of the things that really matter to you.

But not many people realise that their self-confidence works just like a muscle – it grows in response to the level of performance required of it.  Either you use it or you lose it.  That’s why I’ve given you 63 ways to grow your confidence so that you can become a giant.

1. Learning is a Good Thing, so sign up for that evening class and enjoy it.
2. Get out of your own head by asking your partner or best friend what you can do for them today.
3. Hit the gym.  The physiological effects will leave you feeling great.
4. Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful to other people rather than being nervous about your own stuff.
5. Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.  If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.
6. Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimise or diminish each one.
7. Look at a great win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it.  Recognising your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.
8. Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
9. Next time you talk yourself out of doing something (a party invite, a challenging project or whatever else), say ‘What the Hell’ and go do it anyway.
10. Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the inside or on the outside).
11. Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or over-thinking.  Now imagine that your best friend went through exactly the same thought process and ended up holding themselves back – what would you want to say to them?
12. Ask out that girl or guy you fancy the pants off (only if you’re single, don’t want to get you into trouble).
13. You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room in your life.
14. Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
15. Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want.
16. Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
17. Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself and look for a way that that inner dialog can be improved.  Ask yourself, “What would make this easier?”
18. Scared of looking silly? You and everyone else.  It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you.  Say it with me – “It just doesn’t matter.”
19. Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.  There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.  Look for the things you do where the question of whether you’re confident enough never arises.
20. Listen to your doubts but be ready to make deliberate decisions once you’ve heard them.  Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
21. Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position and you were firing on all cylinders.  What were you doing and what’s the reason it felt so great?
22. You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do.  These rules limit your thinking and limit your behaviour.  Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
23. Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped back form an opportunity?  Don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse.  Instead, be brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on.  Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?
24. If you’d already done everything in life you’d have no need to be scared.  Don’t ever think that being scared means you’re not confident, it simply means you’re going somewhere new.
25. If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on.  You deserve better.
26. Flirt.  It’s a harmless way to play around with connecting with people and having fun.
27. Reveal a little bit of the real you in a relationship that might feel like it’s in a rut.
28. Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.  It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.
29. Always recognise that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in, no matter how tough the going gets.
30. Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life.
31. Don’t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it often means you’re selling yourself short.
32. When you feel like stamping your foot and yelling “I deserve better than this!”, take a step back and say “I can BE better than this.”
33. Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hands up and change your mind.
34. Trust your instincts.  They know what they’re talking about.
35. Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence.  That’s a good thing, so use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.
36. Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive and vibrant version of you from the future, a version of you who’s everything you hope to be.  What do they want to tell you?
37. Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself – sometimes the most confident thing to do is ask for help.
38. Take a chance on something tomorrow.  Anything, big or small, just take a chance.
39. You need to be around people who make you feel like YOU, so spend more time with the people who support and encourage you and less with those who undermine you.
40. Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your life – create a congruent environment around you that flows and allows you to be you.
41. No man’s an island, and you need to be a part of the world you around to feel confident.  What can you participate in that’s important to you?
42. Forget the pro’s and con’s – do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
43. Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you.  What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?
44. The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
45. Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.
46. Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are.
47. Put your head above the parapet at work and speak up if there’s something you think could be improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.
48. If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it.  Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.
49. Shy with new people?  Not a problem, there’s nothing wrong with being shy and it doesn’t mean you’re not confident.  Just don’t overthink it, start beating yourself up or thinking you’re less than because you’re shy – the more you think like that the worse it gets.
50. Your environment directly impacts your self-perception, so if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork and rubbish put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organised.
51. Write yourself a list of the amazing things you’d love to do in your life, and make a start by simply looking into the first one or two things that leap out at you.
52. Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else.  Find your inherent value first, and your relationships and confidence will be immeasurably better.
53. Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses.  We all have weaknesses but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.
54. The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list the more it’ll drain you and the bigger it’ll seem – get it done and free yourself up.
55. What golden threads, themes, patterns and passions have always been in your life?  If those things aren’t present in your life right now, you need to shift your priorities.
56. Your body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body you won’t be feeling confident in yourself.  Get trim if you need to, just make sure you get along with your body.
57. Being confident is an ongoing process.  It isn’t a goal or an end-point that you reach and then stop.  Keep playing to the best of your ability and your confidence will always be there to support you.
58. Try a new path.  The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection.  A new path wakes you up.
59. Don’t say “Yes” to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat – you can politely decline requests you can’t meet and don’t need to create an excuse for it.
60. Look at the people you respect who seem confident – don’t copy them, but identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.
61. Make a plan to do something, then make deliberate choices to follow through.  Seeing progress gives you important self-reinforcement.
62. When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralysed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.
63. Still beating yourself up for failing or screwing up? It might not be a barrel of laughs but it’s not going to help you get through it.  Much better to recognise that everything, whether it turns out or not, is how you practice living a rich life.

Gaining Self Confidence –

Did you know that …

• 90% of people start school with high self-confidence, and
• 90% finish with low self-confidence

We end up spending the first third of our lives creating the self-confidence and self-esteem ISSUES, and the next third fixing them!

You wouldn’t even treat your car this way, so why on earth do we treat ourselves like this?

The Importance Of Addressing Your Self Confidence Issues

Those people who never address this and remedy the damaging effects low self-confidence will go to their grave with terribly low opinions of themselves.

And I’ll let you in on a secret:

A life that is full of quality is not derived from having heaps of money. A quality life stems from being self-confident and having a healthy self-image of yourself.

If that’s the secret to living a quality life, why are there so many miserable people in the western world?

So many of us have degrees, but sadly, we have not been EDUCATED about HOW to build self confidence.

Without the tools, the knowledge or the education, we can’t bring this into our life.  And when we can’t bring this into our life we never end up getting what we deserve from life.

Is It Possible To Learn How To Boost Low Self Confidence?

YES! Even if you have always lacked self-confidence you can start changing the way you feel about yourself right away if you want to

Below, I’ve compiled a broad list of 5 strategies that you can implement to improve your self-confidence, self esteem and self worth … STARTING TODAY.

However, always remember – wisdom is the application of knowledge.  Just reading these will not get the results. It’s in the doing.

STRATEGY 1: Make A Commitment To Gain Self Confidence

We are all seeking success and happiness.  We are all told about goal setting.  Why then are we not told about building our self-confidence, because it provides the foundation for success as described in the diagram above.

Think of it this way.  If we want to get fit, what do we do?   We start exercising and we eat less.  We make a decision to do something about it.  And we actually start seeing results even after 1 week.  But what happens when we stop?  We go back to the way we were.

Managing your self-confidence is exactly the same.

Maintaining a high level of self-confidence is a DAILY process, so make it your daily ritual.   In the same way that your muscles shrink if you stop exercising or going to the gym, your self-confidence will shrink if you don’t have the DISCIPLINE to work on it.

Remember, if it’s not scheduled you won’t do it. So make a DAILY spot in your calendar. All you need is 15 minutes to work on it.

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STRATEGY 2: Integrity is the number one way to boost your self esteem

In its most basic form, integrity is doing what you say you will do.   There are two forms of integrity:

• Integrity to others.  For example – we make a commitment to meet a friend at a certain time to go for a run.  We have high integrity if we keep this commitment.
• Integrity to ourselves. For example – we say we are going to get out of bed in the morning and have a run.  We have high integrity if we keep this commitment.

INTEGRITY IS A POWERFUL COMMODITY

The more integrity we have (ie the more often we do what we say we will do) the more others will trust us AND the more we begin to trust ourselves.

The more we trust ourselves, the more confidence and self-esteem we have.

Even though it’s that simple, so many people make promises and don’t keep them.  A close friend of mine is always running late and not getting things back to others when he says he’s going to.

I also have other friends who make promises to themselves, but never keep them.   Sadly, when you break a commitment, you are saying to yourself at a subconscious level, “I am not worthy of being trusted,” and sadly our self confidence dwindles rapidly.

Thankfully, filling the integrity bucket is simple.  All you need to do is STOP saying things you don’t intend on committing to, AND simply doing EVERYTHING that you say you will.

Here are several strategies that might help you:

• Be careful what you say yes to.   Stop people pleasing and learn to say no.  Say no more than you say yes.  Don’t put pressure on yourself.  Instead of saying to yourself,  “I am definitely getting up in the morning and having a run,” maybe say “I really want to go for a run in the morning, but if I miss it – then that is OK”
• Downsize your goals.  I meet so many people who constantly set major goals, and make a promise to reach them but don’t.   The reality is usually that the goal is too big.  You are far better off setting a smaller goal that you are likely to achieve.  When you achieve the goal, you feel great. This has a major impact on how you feel and builds more power for you to move on and achieve the next goal, which you can make slightly bigger.  Sooner or later you will be moving mountains because you believe in yourself.
• Be on time.  This is huge.  There are very few excuses for not being on time. It’s an utter disrespect to be late for someone.

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STRATEGY 3: Use a morning ritual to boost your self confidence

As I mentioned, gaining self confidence is a daily ritual and thus should be practiced on a daily basis.  Remember – if you go to the gym daily, you will get results. The same applies to self-confidence.

Often, we will finish a day the way we start it, so we if we start it really well – the rest of the day goes really well.

Here is how I apply my morning ritual …

• 5am – wake up
• Straight out of bed (no snooze) to the shower
• Dress
• Into my work place for a 20 minute meditation.  This really centres me and afterwards, it feels like I’ve had another 2 hours sleep.  I feel very relaxed after this and my mind is quiet
• I prepare a green juice.   I mix a cucumber, 2 apples, 1 lemon and 4-5 celery sticks into a juicer (then drink it).  This gives me a big rush of health

I then come back into my work place and …

• Read out my desire statement (a statement about how I want my life to look in 12 months from today)
• Read out Affirmations (positive ‘I am statements’)
• Write 3 pages of my journal to tap into creativity and see if there are thoughts worth exploring
• Go over my day and really break my day into chunks (co-ordinate each task and work out how long each task will take)

• Go and make breakfast
• Start my day

By 7am in the morning I am feeling really energised. I’m actually really excited about getting into the day.

Compare this to the person who slumps out of bed at 7.45am after hitting snooze 10 times.  Who is going to have more confidence in their day?

Remember, self-esteem and confidence is built one day at a time. Make time to work on it and it will change your life. When I miss a daily ritual, my day is never as good, so I do it EVERY DAY

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STRATEGY 4: Give yourself some self-love – It will have a big impact on gaining self confidence

Imagine you have just met the girl or guy of your dreams.   You want to buy them nice things, and smother them with love.  You buy them presents, you give them cuddles, you take them out for nice dinners and you say nice things to them.

How often do you give yourself this kind of attention?  Sadly we are taught that its arrogant to give our self some self love – that this will make us look selfish or egotistical.  Nothing can be further from the truth.

Giving yourself some love is one of the fastest ways to gaining self-confidence

When you find it hard giving yourself some self-love it means your self-confidence is very low.  Here are some other tools to increase self-love into your life-

• Meditate.  You are going to get sick of me talking about this, but meditation is the greatest act of self love on the planet
• Enjoy a massage
• Eat healthy food (such an act of kindness on your body)
• Exercise
• Wear nice clothes
• Using nice things
• Clean your car/house
• Get rid of things you no longer need
• Say nice things to yourself (one of my favorites is simply saying “I like myself” over and over again)
• Catch yourself doing good things
• Reward yourself for small wins
• Redefine your definition of success
• Buy a nice bed
• Spend time in nature
• Slow down
• Meet your own needs (and don’t call it selfish)
• Remove negative people/things out of your life
• Stop trying so hard – stop pushing
• Be patient
• Give up on perfectionism
• Don’t answer the phone if you don’t want to talk
• Start picking up litter on the street
• Accept yourself for who you are
• Quit trying to impress everyone
• Cut negative talk out of your life.

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STRATEGY 5: Boost the self-confidence of OTHERS

(It will have a major impact on YOUR self confidence)

Whatever you want more of in your life, you need to firstly give it to someone else.

• If you want more money – give some money away
• If you want more happiness – focus on making others happy
• If you want more love – show someone else some love

Therefore, if you want to boost your self-confidence, focus on boosting the confidence in others

I have found, that the more I help others believe in themselves, the more others come back to help me believe in myself.

It is really true.  I find people with low confidence find it really challenging giving compliments to others.  They also find it challenging accepting compliments from others.  They find it hard letting someone else know they think they are amazing. Instead, many people will actually end-up bad mouthing that person.

If you can’t say it – write it

Just try it and watch what happens!

Start now.

Maybe write a letter to an old teacher who inspired you.  Or, write a letter to your parents and let them know what they mean to you.  It’s not that hard.  Take note how you feel.  Write it from the heart.  Be emotional.  Be real.  You will give off an extraordinary energy when you do this, and it will come back tenfold for you.

I really hope these strategies will help you improve your self-confidence. I would love to read your thoughts below and also other ideas you have to help people improve their self-confidence and self-esteem